Q:hi so you said you blog is safe for advice and talk esp about sexual assault and things? well i was recently assaulted and i am getting better slowly, but i am starting to get serious with this guy and i dont know how to bring it up or if im even ready for a relationship? hes been super kind and i feel safe talking to him but i can barely tell anyone about what happened and im just nervous that hell get put off by it or something? do you have any advice on how to talk about it?
Sweetheart I’m so sorry that something like that happened to you, and I’m so glad to hear that you’re starting to heal.
If you don’t feel you’re ready for a relationship at all, that’s also a boundary he needs to respect, and you don’t necessarily owe him an explanation for that.
If you’re serious about him, and you think you can trust him, tell him. But skip the suspense of saying “I need to talk to you,” scheduling a conversation, etc. - catch him at a time when he’s not busy, able to pay full attention to you, say “I need to tell you something,” and spill. Scheduling a conversation about something like that is nerve-racking, and a kind of anxiety you don’t need in your life right now. You could start by saying “Something happened to me,” and go from there, telling him about why it in the broadest of terms all the while emphasizing that you don’t know if you’re ready for a relationship, and making it known that he needs to be patient and respectful of that. If you’re more straightforward than that, say it bluntly, “I was sexually assaulted/raped,” however you wish to word it. However you go about saying it, make sure that you emphasize your need for him to be respectful of your boundaries. He should not be “put off” by something awful that happened to you - if he is, he’s not the kind of man you should be with anyway. He doesn’t sound like he will be that kind of guy, from what little you’ve mentioned, but I know that knowing who you can trust and who you can talk to has all been thrown into a grey area, and that this is a scary step. But once you make it, you’ll feel a little freer - having someone else to work with you on healing is healing in itself (although I would suggest seeking professional help if that’s something you’re comfortable with.)
By telling him, you can working on creating boundaries for yourself and reaffirming those boundaries in your relationship with him - going at a pace you’re comfortable with, making sure he knows what you’re ok with and that he respects that, and that he continues to respect it even if it changes. I say that because getting better isn’t really a linear process, and you might think you’re ok with something and discover that you’re not, or have a minor setback and cease to be ok with something that you didn’t have a problem with before, and that’s all perfectly ok. The important thing is that he respects that.
We’re coming for you whether the Muggles like it or not, you can’t miss the World Cup, only Mum and Dad reckon it’s better if we pretend to ask their permission first. If they say yes, send Pig back with your answer pronto, and we’ll come and get you at five o’clock on Sunday. If they say no, send Pig back pronto and we’ll come and get you at five o’clock on Sunday anyway.
hi friends i;;; hate to do this and i know there are many others in much worse situations but i ;;;
am really struggling this month with the bills- power bills are much higher because i need to run the air all the time in the florida summer heat, my rent payments for my old apartment and new apartment are overlapping for the month of august (meaning im about to have to pay rent, almost a thousand dollars total, for 2 apartments in 1 month even though im only living in one) and my hours are much fewer in the summer because all the students are gone and off campus/// im trying to not even THINK about the fact that all of my medications for the month are about to run out and need to be refilled;; ahh
if there is anything you can spare at all, even a dollar or two, there is a link on my sidebar to my donation page or if you’d prefer the ease (and less service fees) of paypal you can contact me in a private message and i can give you my paypal info;;; like i said, anything helps, even if it’s just boosting this post
i dont have much to offer in terms of repayment but ive been told im a moderately good writer/poet (there are tags on my sidebar for both my writing and poetry) so maybe i could do something for you or;; anything
again im so sorry to bother you all and even what you think to be the smallest bit of help is GREATLY appreciated
thank you so much
"My response to the “I am not a feminist” internet phenomenon….
First of all, it’s clear you don’t know what feminism is. But I’m not going to explain it to you. You can google it. To quote an old friend, “I’m not the feminist babysitter.”
But here is what I think you should know.
You’re insulting every woman who was forcibly restrained in a jail cell with a feeding tube down her throat for your right to vote, less than 100 years ago.
You’re degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis center, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement.
You’re undermining every woman who fought to make marital rape a crime (it was legal until 1993).
You’re spitting on the legacy of every woman who fought for women to be allowed to own property (1848). For the abolition of slavery and the rise of the labor union. For the right to divorce. For women to be allowed to have access to birth control (Comstock laws). For middle and upper class women to be allowed to work outside the home (poor women have always worked outside the home). To make domestic violence a crime in the US (It is very much legal in many parts of the world). To make workplace sexual harassment a crime.
In short, you know not what you speak of. You reap the rewards of these women’s sacrifices every day of your life. When you grin with your cutsey sign about how you’re not a feminist, you ignorantly spit on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years. You bite the hand that has fed you freedom, safety, and a voice.
In short, kiss my ass, you ignorant little jerks.”
If you don’t reblog these in a pair I hate you
I actually had to do it twice, because I accidentally reblogged Malfoy first, and that’s almost as bad as not reblogging both of them.